Back again.
Means I'm struggling again. Lonely. Isolated.
Been disassociating constantly; at work, driving the car, cooking dinner, hanging the clothes out....bam....disconnected. It's annoying to say the least. It's also disheartening.
I'm experiencing some of the schizo affective 'side-effects' (if you will) lately. Especially the loss of motivation and apathy. It's shocking. I try so hard to keep it together but honestly? I can't be stuffed.......I have no motivation and that's affecting my work stamina.
And the apathy....oh god how I want to feel again. I smile and laugh and fake it all the way but really...truly...I feel nothing.
I was sick for 3 weeks straight a couple of weeks back and it totally threw out my blood sugar levels. I have been having hypos nearly every day and its totally.totally.TOTALLY freaking me out!!
My psychiatrist says people with schizophrenia and psychotic disorder are significantly more at risk of developing diabetes.
Bingo.....there I go again. Meeting the stereotype for insanity.
I try so hard to be normal. And I do a damm good job. But it's so tiring. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of the tiredness....
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